he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
