worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
