Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
