walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The adults are the big ones right?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
