who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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