Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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