mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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