I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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