Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
