Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
