also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
