Cold hands, warm shart.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
