If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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