ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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