I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
