Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
