Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
