Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
time to smoke my breakfast
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
