I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
