I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
