im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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