I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
