his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
