Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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