this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
