get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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