Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
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