it hurts more in the daytime
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
