hell yes lets make some ravioli
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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