super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
