Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
