no one should ever give us hovercrafts
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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