when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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