Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
