Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
When are your genitals available?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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