so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
