The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
