i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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