I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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