I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
