Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You took a bar mat shot.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
