the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
