soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
