I skipped work to stalk him.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
