i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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