please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
