PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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