i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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