I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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