I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
