Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
