This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
When are your genitals available?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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