So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
